Dutch newspaper ‘De Telegraaf’
The originally Dutch article, ‘Ik huurde een gigolo‘, from the Dutch daily newspaper ‘De Telegraaf’ can be read here. The translated text of the article is written out below. By Hanna Gillissen
Lisanne: “I hired a gigolo”
After a bad marriage and over ten years without sex, Lisanne (fictitious first name) (49) took the plunge: she made an appointment with a gigolo. Since then, this mother of two daughters (18 and 21) has been full of energy again. And she would love to break the taboo.
“I am sweet, gentle and warm-hearted. In a carefree, respectful manner, I will let you relax for a few hours. We get to know each other a little, chat a bit and I propose to start with a relaxation massage, then an erotic massage and then what are we going to do, Lisanne…imagine..”
“I lost it when I read the email from gigolo René! I had taken the plunge the day before and sent him a message. That I wanted information. That I hadn’t had sex in over a decade and had never had a climax in my entire marriage. That my self-confidence had taken a big hit and that I had a plus size − whether there was no barrier for him…”
“I got divorced in 2012, after over 25 years of marriage. Our sex life was not exciting and ten years before our break-up I found out that he was cheating on me all the time. I felt incredibly hurt, but we stayed together, as brother and sister. He was fine with it this way; he could do his thing and I took care of the children. I wanted to keep our family life going and had turned off my feeling.”
“Until I went for a drink with a school friend from back in the days. He kept telling me how much he liked me. I hadn’t noticed anything, but suddenly he kissed me full on the mouth. It was heaven on earth! At the same time I thought: now what? Cheating didn’t feel right, I was way too insecure for that. But it did trigger something in me and I decided to get divorced.”
Almost too exciting..
“Dating was too exciting for me, I didn’t dare, so let alone hitting on someone in a bar. My self-confidence and trust in men were completely gone. I thought I was fat and thought: who wants me anyway? And I hadn’t had sex in so long that I had no idea what was expected of me in that respect. Last spring though, I suddenly thought: you know what, I’m going to see a gigolo. I had read something about that once and it didn’t seem like such a crazy idea. If I needed a gardener, I hired one, right?”
“So that’s how I ended up on Gigolo René’s website. We emailed back and forth and he insisted he wouldn’t do anything I wouldn’t want. He would pamper me and I didn’t have to feel any pressure to please him. That gave me the confidence to go for it.”
“It was almost too exciting, but I was also curious what it would be like to be ‘re-deflowered’. We planned the date at a hotel; I didn’t want to meet at my place, that was too close. That very afternoon I suddenly became very nervous and unsure and I texted him, “Be honest, are even half the references on your site true?” He texted back, “Everything is real, and you can judge for yourself tomorrow. Have you packed your suitcase yet?”
“I told my youngest daughter, who was often at home on weekends at the time, that I would go to a spa with a friend. I painted my nails, put on some perfume and a beautiful lingerie set. That gave me a little bit of self confidence. The nerves raged through my body when I checked in. As soon as he wasn’t there at the agreed time, I thought: he’s not coming, I’ve fallen for it… But luckily at that very moment I received a text, “I’m coming up now..”. My heart raced like a madman!”
“René came in: a slender, muscular but rather short man with dark short hair. Not usually my type, but I immediately felt at ease with him. While he made coffee, I told him that I hadn’t had sex for a long time and that I wanted to get rid of my insecurities. He listened and said, “You’ve missed a lot!”, after which he asked me to strip down to my bra and panties. I lay down on the bed and he began to massage me. At first I thought, I don’t know… But he was so damn good! My underwear came off and so did his boxers. Suddenly we were lying naked against each other on the bed and we were having sex like I had never experienced before.”
“It was like my thinking was turned off and my feeling turned on. All my fears were taken away. I completely forgot that for him it is his job. It was so intense and thrilling. It was a four-hour journey of discovery in which I experienced several climaxes. We lay next to each other for a while afterwards. I was trembling with adrenaline. René told me to stop putting myself down, that I was worthwhile. Finally he got dressed again and took the envelope from the bedside table which I had left there as agreed. I stayed in bed for a while after that, enjoying the afterglow…”
No illusions
“It wasn’t love I felt. I see it really as a service. René taught me the sexual knowledge that I needed. I don’t have the illusion that we had sex out of love, but it was out of respect and trust, and that’s already a lot. My date with a gigolo has done me so much good. I got a huge energy boost from it and I finally feel like a woman again. I’ve told four girlfriends and they keep asking me when I’ll see him again. In any case, I have one more appointment because I want to know more about the male body and how I can satisfy a man. And I want to relive it all again at a slow pace. Then I can move on.”
“René also does ‘aftercare’ via email and he tells me to live and enjoy myself and even advises me on what to put on my profile on a dating site. In the meantime I have already registered, but not yet on a paid site, that is still a bridge too far. And I chat via an online network. The men I meet there usually get straight to the point, but I’m not ready for that yet. I use it purely for practice, to find out what I do and do not want. Soon I will also go to a dance party to experience how things are in ‘real life’. Dating still scares me. But I have already taken such an important step that I have confidence that it will work out well.”
“I’m bubbling and swirling, people around me can see that in me, but I’m sure no one will seek a gigolo experience behind it! I surprised myself as well. I didn’t get any negative reactions; the friends I’ve told are all happy I took matters into my own hands. But other than that I won’t tell anyone; I don’t want my children and employer to find out.”
“Why I’m telling this story – anonymously – is that I want to take the hiring of a gigolo out of the taboo. I want to get rid of the shady. Cause I’m not ashamed of it. In fact, I am proud that I took this step. It has been the best decision after my divorce. It has also meant so much more to me than just ‘buying sex’: I went there to learn, to feel what it would do to me to be loved and to love. I wish every woman such an experience, especially women who, like me, had little self-confidence.”